Christmas is Coming

So, being the last post i'll do before December (which is on Thursday. advent calendars HOLLA), I'd like to take the chance to make some Christmas predictions
1) there will be snow. lots of snow.
2) Misha B will win XFactor.
3) ..or Amelia Lily (hopefully)
4) .. possibly Marcus.
5) one of the above will be Christmas number one.
6) I will leave my Christmas shopping until very last minute.
7) There will be at least 3 snow days.
8) Despite being forbidden, we will sledge down the MES hill.
9) I will accumulate a cold/flu/chest infection.
10) Christmas will be AMAZING.


Although, despite making my Christmas playlist, I've had Rihanna and One Direction on repeat all week. WHAT IS THIS?! Muust get my Christmas spirit up to scratch. Feeling v unchristmassy.

BTWz. thought you'd all like to know that we raised £4000 for Teenage Cancer Trust last weekend at our MES FPs Christmas Fair. EYYYY. #winning

Would also like to take this opportunity to point out my huge respect for Alice Pyne. Alice is a 15 year old girl, (who has the same birthday as me AYYO) with the same cancer as myself, although hers is terminal. She has a Bucket List Blog which is a crazy good read. She's currently trying to re-trend worldwide on twitter with #alicebucketlist so y'all should tweet it, by doing this, you'll be joining the likes of Kim Kardashian, Rihanna, Katy Perry and the rest by helping her. well jeal.

Weell, happy December everyone.

The Wall

I think I've done it, I've just hit the radiotherapy wall and I'm really not enjoying it in the slightest. I was told that, roughly 6-8 weeks after finishing radiotherapy, my body would hit a wall and try to shut down, leaving me constantly shattered. To the extent that I will be almost in tears whilst dragging myself out of bed at 7.30 for school. I will then be drifting off for the duration of the day, and when I finally go to bed, sleep is the last thing my body seems capable of. LOLWUUUT?! Quite literally thee most frustrating thing. I have never quite experienced such tiredness before, I feel as if I could hibernate until summer and still be shattered. Never have radiotherapy.

Although, when I do get my few hours of nightly sleep, I seem to have adopted a new recurring dream, which I'm not so fond of. I dream that my hair is down to my shoulders, yet I'm still extremely self-conscious and still want to wear my wig (even though my hair is shorter than most boys and i don't wear my wig) It's literally two or three years worth of hair growth in a night, much to my delight. I keep waking up from the dream playing with imaginary hair around my shoulders. To my extreme disappointment, when I look in the mirror, my hair is exactly the same as it was when I went to sleep. Putting me in a deep state of disappointment for the entirety of the day.

My weekly Sunday Photobooth photos prove that my hair has, quite literally, stayed the same for the past month. Maybe it's given up on growing. Maybe I'll be a lesbian-man for the rest of my days. The same has occurred with my lashes and brows. In all my vanity, my lashes used to be beautifully long, and are now no more than what you could call stumps. And I now refuse to leave the house without filled in brows; something I would never have even imagined doing 10 months ago. It's a sad happening really.

My skin, as well. Not that it's not growing, obviously, but that it's changed. Before disgnosis I have very average skin. Some days it could be beautifully clear and glowing, and others it could be disgustingly dry, with a colony of spots. Upon my first chemo, I got a horrendous rash all over my neck, chest and forehead, that looked much like acne, except they weren't proper spots, they were more just red itchy bumps. Then further on in my chemo, my skin was flawless, got no spots at all. Upon changing my chemo scheme, the rash came back to visit and during that scheme it was back to flawless. Now, well..it's back to average and I don't like it. I WANT FLAWLESS GLOWING SKIN. If anyone; Caggie, Millie, Audrina, Lauren C would like to swap, just get in touch yeah..?

New Found Love

Yesterday, 6th November 2011 was the It's Good 2 Give annual fashion show. Having been sitting in the audience last year thinking 'what a shame on these guys, having to go through such shit' ..it was my time to shine. Never would I have thought I'd have a reason to participate except from being a friend of Lynne's. But there I was, after months of organising, planning, sharing ideas (not so much on my behalf. most uncreative little squirrel over here) and looking forward to it, I soon enough found myself side by side with Shannon, being introduced by Grant Stott.

How did I get myself into hosting? Well..Lynne tried to bully me into modelling, and knowing I had aaall my steroid weight to come, i barely left the house never mind wanted to strut my 'stuff' on a catwalk infront of 500 people. But I knew I wasn't getting out of it so, for some reason, must have been spur of the moment, I agreed to co-host with Shannon MacKenzie and Grant Stott. The thing that was worrying me, however, was the fact i wasn't at all nervous. Despite the only public speaking I've ever done in my life is the odd 'About Me' presentation to my class in primary school. [cue sexy photo of me pouting] Anyway, I thought 'och, I'll be fine, we'll have a script, i'll learn it.' WEEEELL, this wasn't quite the case. No more than an hour before we were due on stage, we were handed cue cards and barely had a chance to read over them. But of course, Mr Panto Baddie/radio presenter Grant Stott kept us right. Hosting really is my new found love and I desperately want to do something like that again.

I can honestly say I haven't experienced such thrills in a long, long, long time. It was the most fun I've had in I'd say years. It was an incredible show, the models, each with a reason to model (patients, siblings, parents, nurses etc) were incredible. Ranging from baby Skye ages three to Lady Province in her seventies. It was a night I will never forget and I very much look forward to next year. Only someone as special as Lynne could have pulled it off. Honestly, if you haven't met Lynne, go to her house with flowers and chocolates. Amazing.

'The Aftermath' ..apparantly.

So Alexa was asking my why i don't blog much anymore and the honest reason is that I simply have nothing to blog about right now. Life is currently as normal as it has been for a looong time. I'm doing full time at school, actually working (yes, don't fall off your seats), i've not been in hospital for over three weeks. Just keeping myself busy really.





I wouldn't exactly call this stage in time 'the aftermath' because who knows whats to come. I get my diagnostic scans in December, and if I get the all-clear I will officially be in a 5 year state of remission. Once that is over, then I will be in the aftermath. The aftermath of what has been the ultimate worst time in my life, which I would never wish upon even my worst enemy. No one deserves to go through what I've been through and what a lot of other people I've gotten to know are going through, it is quite literally the worst thing. When you're not affected by it in some way, it's generally oblivious to you. But when you experience it and how some people's lives are everyday, you simply need to do something about it. Before this year, I had never thought about it. I didn't even know what Cancer was. To me it was just a scary word that ultimately ended in death but I was soon to realise there's so much more to it than that.

This is why I've decided to become a lot more involved. I've joined our school's charities committee, which, ironically, this year are focussing on Teenage Cancer Trust and CCLASP (who recently got a large donation from the Secret Millionaire) I've also decided to try and get some girls together to do the Half Moon Walk in summer and I am doing the Race for Life (which I have always wanted to do but have always simply been too lazy). I have also been getting involved with my current fave charity It's Good 2 Give and am co-hosting their annual fashion show this Sunday. It's not that it took me suffering to get over the ignorance of ignoring charities like this, it's just that I was blissfully unaware of it and didn't really think about it nor did I want to. 

So yeah, if you're ever looking for a charity to donate your bake sale money to or to fundraise for regardless. I'd highly recommend the charities I've mentioned here as well as Love Oliver. A charity set up after a 24 week old boy passed away last Christmas Day from a chronic cancer condition. After being subject to these charities and experiencing what they do and how much of a difference they make, i have realised in the increasing extent of the needs for these charities.