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Saturday, 28 January 2012

Blah Blah Blah

So after a month of hard work, prelims are finally over. EYYY. I feel as if I've just invented the telephone or something, this feels like suuch an achievement for me. I've never really sat exams before. I missed my third year exams due to Iceland conveniently erupting which meant we were stuck in the Caribbean and had to spend a week in New York before we were able to fly home (shame that) and my fourth year prelims don't count because i did nil revision and wrote about a sentence per answer due to my lack of energy as i was so ill. An obviously i didn't sit any Int2's because i was having treatment and missing school. (although i sat maths, having taught myself unit 3 (the hard bit) and sitting it in my hospital room, and achieved an A..incase i didn't tell you..but i will have because it's probably the biggest achievement of my life, not even kidding) So sitting proper exams, in a big exam hall was practically new to me. Not an experience that i'd wish to occur more often, but it was.. regrettably, quite fun. Although i'm beyond glad they're now over and i can sit, do nothing and not feel guilty.

In other news, i chemically straightened my hair this week. Basically, being the fan/stalker of Sophie's blog that I am, after she blogged about being able to have non-microphone, non-Frankie Cocozza/Harry Styles styled hair, I had to try it myself. And it was one of the best recommendations I think I've ever had. So many people say "aw it must be quite convenient having short hair, must be so easy to maintain." but ladies and gents, don't be fooled by the dyke spike. With my long hair, I'd wash it every second night, let it dry naturally and straighten it when i could be bothered. With my dyke spike, however, I have to wash it almost every night, blow dry it and then straighten it if I plan on leaving the house in order to look relatively normal. I've never spent so much hair-time in my life. So i invested in 'Soft Sheen Carson Dark and Lovely Kids' hair relaxing kit. All that was involved was mixing the mousse, applying the mousse and washing out and BAM i have straight hair without having to blow dry or straighten. Absolute bliss.


after (naturally dried, unstraightened. EYY)
The last thing I'd like to mention in my blog is the current state of humanity. Now I have some pretty incredible people in my life. An amazing family, incredible friends and such a good support group, but I've also encountered some pretty disgusting people. The perfect example of this is my experience from this morning. So there I am, chilling in bed, when my phone buzzes with a facebook notification. A friend of mine had been fraped and left a comment on my facebook including the term 'patient c*nt.' This in itself is pretty sick. Picking on people for the way they look, the way they act etc is one thing, but making fun of people that have a disease that is outwith their control is a whole new level of low. So I delete it, spare the poor lowlife from embarrassment, to which i am bombarded with another comment saying 'haha deleted my comment you tumor' Not as if I was offended; those who know me know that I'm not one for caring what others think of me; I was just a bit shocked, and disgusted. Now I'm not going to name and shame, although I know who it was, but people who do stuff like this need to have a think about their life and adopt some boundaries because I know I'm not the only one who gets abuse for the same reasons, some friends do as well and it's just disgusting. The people I've met through my disease are some of the strongest, most inspirational people I have ever come across and people who evidently have nothing better to do really do not deserve to be bad-mouthing other people for such reasons.

I couldn't think of a better name for this blog than Blah Blah Blah because it's literally just me ranting and exposing my thoughts. Sorry for the shchat. I promise to try harder. X

Tuesday, 17 January 2012


First blog of the year EYYY. Happy New Year then, hopefully a good year in store for all, especially myself but i have no expectations.
I guess, by blogging, i feel my prelim procrastination is somewhat productive, and so i feel better. Yet another example of me kidding myself into thinking what I'm doing is okay. Example numero un; typing out notes. I think; well done Laura, you've done three hours solid revision. But in reality, i don't know it as i was singing along to One Direction and not taking anything in. Example numero deux; printing off notes. I sit and read twitter whilst my 30 sheets of typed-up notes print off. Then i feel i deserve a revision break. I currently feel as if i'm living a lie through this. Must get it sorted before finals. Numero trois; 'doing past papers' which, in my case, it typing up the answers from the answer booklet. I have an OCD that, if I'm not 110% sure that why i'm writing is right, i won't write it. So i seek guidance from the answer booklet and so don't actually learn anything. My revision is awful. I simply don't know how to do it.

Anyway, aside from my riveting social life (or not) I shall update you on my medical position, as, unfortunately, that's why my blog is about. So i had my second ever 'clinic' today. 'Clinic' for us cancer gals is where, each month, you go to hospital outpatients, get an x-ray, get an ultra sound, get blood tests and have a chatter with your consultant about how you're doing and stuff. Today, the hot topic was christmas presents and how the term 'piss up' has been recently replaced with 'skite' (my dad's words not mine) So yeah, i know you're all edge-of-your-seats excited to know how i'm doing so, yeah i'm good. Could write you a textbook of various side effects but i'm doing okay.

Current side-effects include:

Tiredness; when i say i can't tell you what it feels like not to be tired, i am no liar. I have never experienced anything quite like this. Symptoms of cancer - tiredness. Treatment - tiring. Long-lasting side effect - tiredness. WHEN WILL IT END?!
Minimal concentration span; this and prelims simply and brutally do not bode well. I cannot concentrate one any one thing for much longer than ten minutes. I can't write full blogs, nor can i write up huge notes in one sitting, or even listen to a full song. Nothing.
Horrendous balance; to the extent, that as a christmas present, my mother bought me a 'balance band' Now, I've never been one for gracefulness or elegancy, but i have never been this clumsy before. I can barely walk up or down stairs without falling over. (apparently these are highly rated by celebs; Becks is a fan as well as the princess herself. Lea Michelle also wears one in New Year's Eve. Lgibz trend setter EYYOOO)
Middleton aka Princess Cluts
 sporting her balance band. 
Poor eyesight; again, never been one for 20-20 vision and I've had glasses for over a year now. but even with glasses, my eyesight goes blurry and hazy. Not very helpful in the midst of exams and mass workload.
Emotional disfunctions; emotionally, i'm a mess. Verging on bipolar. There is not much more to say under this heading if i'm honest.
Confusion; again, i've never been one for being quick. Never been the sharpest crayon or the pinkest ham buut this is taking confusion and blonde-ness to a new extreme. Very surprised my hair grew back brunette.

Anyway, that's a good half hour of wasted time. must now crack on with some English. Excuse me whilst I dive into the deep depths of Streetcar. Oh the joys..